All Time Low Without Our CEO
Lost with no direction. The S.S. Orange Umbrella plunges into the perilous sea without its Captain.
O Captain! My Captain! Rise up and hear the bells! (We don't have any actual bells but it's figurative)
We need you now more than ever. Well, in actuality, it's been smooth sailing since you left. Most of us got to work this week and didn't even realize you weren't here. Words can't express how much calmer it is here without having to hear your complaints from the sofa where you so proudly sit in isolation. Some of us were pretty worried about you leaving at first, because without you there would be no way to access the 4th floor lounge and have free coffee. Once it was made known to them that I actually had your ID everyone stopped worrying about your absence.
& can you blame us?
After that whole "I'm leaving back to Texas" thing you put us through, we were all already in acceptance of the fact that you were leaving. We were ready. You could even say we were excited. Then, all of a sudden "lol jk guys I'm staying".
"What???? Are you kidding me???"
No one was expecting that. No one was prepared. No one was excited. So yeah MJ, whatever, enjoy your trip to Texas. We all hope you have the time of your life there. Like your whole life. Don't feel obligated to come back.
JK MJ! We love and miss you. I literally wrote this Pulp article before you even left, so yeah. Here is a quote to show how much we care:
"We're here without you MJ;
But you're still with us in our dreams..."